airplane

It's 6:06 in the am. I woke up about 20 minutes ago and it's still dark out. Traveling early on the the shortest days of the year is an experience one could say I guess.

I've got my 44 liter bag nearly packed up, my skateboard is by the door and there a few books on my shelf I'll need to grab to occupy some time while I'm in St. Louis. Luckily, I'm taking a 1 leg trip, so I'm actually hoping the fact I don't have an assigned seat on today's flight works in my favor. I wouldn't mind getting into some free miles or flights. A short, random trip of my own will probably be much needed by the end of next semester.

We'll see how it goes. At least I'm not traveling on the 24th with my brother. Certainly to be a shit show.

not the same me I used to be

Last night I watched The Motorcycle Diaries with Katie (http://cheekytree.blogspot.com/). Beyond the actual Che content, I really enjoyed the film and was given confidence in what I am doing. The basic coming of age plot in the film was powerful and the transformation steps represented are seemingly relevant to how I've spent my past year. If you haven't seen this, it's worth a rent or an instant watch on Netflix (still up 12/17/09).

After having done that, I prepared my mind, my body and my bike (of course) for the mountain bike ride I attended this morning. I woke myself up around 7am in freezing weather to pack up and meet with 7 other hearty and like-minded souls for I believe a 3.5 - 4 hour ride (I never keep a watch on these rides). I assumed that because of the freezing temperatures (26 degrees in Harrisonburg when we left, so maybe in the teens at certain points of the ride???), my toes would go numb, and not surprisingly, they did. I also assumed that at some point in the ride I would probably return to Slumville, which I did. I also expected to have a tough time on the bike I borrowed to ride since my bike needs a repair, and once again, that was the case.

I ended up dressing nearly appropriately for the weather except my lack of foot protection, well noted above. We hit some ridge/pass spots on our ride that brought seriously biting winds that ignited a continuous drip from my nose. Things started to go downhill before we actually went down hill and I certainly did not help myself when thinking we were climbing that last road section to the parking lot at Reddish Knob. While we passed on riding to the tippy top, we began the long ride down Timber/Wolf Ridge, which isn't entirely all downhill. My next wall was encountered here when I realized the brake levers on the bike I borrowed were about a mile away from the handlebar, extracting constant, crampy pain in my hands the entire downhill. Why would I have that of that before when all we did was ride uphill???

All in all, I'm exhausted, I've already napped, I'm already fed (Jess's Quick Lunch chili cheese dogs are awesome post ride), I think I'm getting sick and my body is yelling at me.

I had an awesome day.

christmas break?

Finished up strong at the end of the semester. Now I can only wait to find out if it paid off. Kind of frustrating that I can enjoy the grades for only a day or two since there's still other things that need attending to.

Just got my flight itinerary from my dad for my trip to St. Louis. Really thankful I don't have to drive, but wishing I had been able to make plans around a job, one of which I can't claim still. Tomorrow I'll be driving around, looking and applying again. It sucks you can't just say, "This is getting old." Doesn't get you a job...

it's already decemeber

Finals week will be over in less than 24 hours for me, "break" will begin and I'm still trying to find part time employment. I'm trying really hard this time around, so I've got my fingers crossed. Making follow up calls, dressing well etc. Had a "mix up" with Panera and thusly was dubbed "the guy with a bad attitude". Really?

Yesterday, I started with a new band, The Equestrians. I'm not sure how to explain the sound really, you'd have to ask Matt Vogel, Tim Skirven or Andrew Barnes. It is a lot of fun though. I'm playing bass which is crazy, haven't played electric with any seriousness in a few years now. I did end up leaving practice with a "dead" ear though. It's still bothering me, which is beginning to worry me. I'm going to get serious about using ear protection, even if I can't hear anything, I'll be able to listen to it later.

Besides becoming gainfully employed, my next project is to get my mountain bike in shape and sell it. It's a heavier/longer travel bike than I think I really need and I would really like to get something lighter so I seriously have no reason to skip out on Sunday long rides. I'll probably make a post about it here once I get it together for selling.

I just turned 24 this past Sunday. There was snow on the ground, my brother and some other friends visited, essentially a really awesome time. I'm glad Phil was able to join and honestly make it one of the best birthdays I've had since probably the 21st. Now is the time to look into the next year being 24, which is starting to get ridiculous. I just realized I'm 24 and in school. I'm really hoping my application at VCU is getting some serious work done for me...

3 weeks

To the anonymous poster of criticism, I apologize. 

I've been living a very unpredictable way the past few months, seeing as I made the ballsy move of dropping what I had to go broke, be back in school, and downgrade my living situation so to speak (I can call myself ballsy because I've previously been described as this). So far it's been pretty awesome. I've had my doubts, I definitely question myself. It's not at all easy, but I think so far I've been leading a lifestyle that's more fitting for me and genuinely makes a happier me. 

I just finished 10 long, painful weeks of microbiology at the community college here. So relieved to have that under my belt now. Haven't heard back about the grade, but I believe the B will be coming my way, which I'm content with. Now that that's over with, I've got 3 weeks before the fall semester starts. I've got anatomy to look forward to as well as a pretty loose schedule. 

Between now and then, I've basically got two things on my plate. 

1. Get a job

2. Ride my bike

I'll feel a lot more secure once I've found employment and I think I'll be able to relax more. As far as the bike, I just need to train and have fun. The SM100 is at the beginning of September and I'm hoping to make it hurt as little as possible. Beyond that, trying to ride my skateboard and land those kickyflippies. 

Any who, that's the update. Welcome back. 

Day 1

That's right. I'll be making comments when I remember about what I look forward to the most during the summer (as far as televised entertainment is concerned). The 96th edition of the Tour de France is underway, starting in the beautiful, yet ritzy Mediterranean coast country of Monaco. Only a few kilometers of this mornings time trial is actually rode on French soil, this being not so unusual as each year a clockwise route of France is traded for a counter-clockwise route the next and so on and so forth. The Tour has been ridden through Germany, Italy, Spain, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Belgium, the Netherlands, Ireland and Great Britain (not sure how on those last two). The next three weeks will certainly hold historical significance as record Tour winner Lance Armstrong returns to the stage with team Astana, which last year was banned from the Tour for relations to Alexander Vinokourov and doping, and two other teams (Garmin-Slipsteam and Columbia-Highroad) bring even more American riders to France in hopes of rekindling the threat of American riders in the classic events. 

The next 3 weeks will be entertaining to say the least. I'd have more to say but need to get a start on this day if I too will ride my bike. Thought I'd share a photo of Armstrong's time trial bike for this years Tour. Of course he gets the special treatment and rides a one of a kind (literally) machine that no one else on the Tour or even the team for that matter will ride, but I must say, this is one hell of a bike, certainly tickling my fancy for all things chic. Who'd of thought Armstrong would not only show up in style, but "murdered out"?

 

So glue your butts to the couch and turn on the TV. No grief from me for liquifying your brain this time. 

had the place to ourselves.

Yesterday was a very good example of what I would call a most excellent day. Get up, food, immediate activity followed by some more activity, food again and a bonfire to top it off. I just wanted to briefly state that and follow with a few pictures of rock Matt and I climbed in Franklin, West Virginia. Enjoy. 

First Aid 5.8: Matt led, I cleaned

Castaways 5.8: Matt led, I cleaned

Belly of the Whale: Matt led, my first project

 

harrisonburg.

Well it's been about a month now. Haven't posted, moved, I've been here, one class down (B+, can't complain), unemployed. So far everything has been pretty good. I still feel like I'm spending a lot of time partying and not being so productive, but I'd say I'm just getting the kinks out. 

Waiting now to hear back on one job while I continue getting schooled in the arts of Microbiology and Statistics. My work load has certainly lessened, a change I can appreciate. Got an extremely long weekend ahead though. Venturing south to Roanoke to witness the union of two individuals into the institution of "I can't because my other already planned something for me tonight". I'm waiting to see if a certain someone will object when that part comes up. 

That's Saturday. I guess I have Sunday off, but then Monday will be a high speed race straight from class all the way to Virginia Beach for the show (info here http://www.myspace.com/gatesofkievband). This is going to be a stressful journey but adversely will be a night to remember. Huge music, friends, free beer maybe?!?! So glad I don't have to return in the middle of the night for class the next day. 

And I suppose I could end with a shot of my most recent, possibly not the most wise purchase I've made. 

the end of the end

This is it. I've been sitting here all morning trying to finish these last minute tasks asked of me. Trying to figure out if I'll be able to entertain myself this final afternoon. The "team" is about to take me out to my farewell lunch. Free lunch for me is definitely a plus.

I actually got interrupted for that lunch and just returned. I enjoyed my food thoroughly and the fact it was free. It was the first time I've been out with the whole team in a while and I remembered why I usually didn't attend team lunches. Too many silent parts for my own good.

Anyway, I am in absolutely no way prepared to leave for the Blacksburg to Harrisonburg trip tomorrow....I take that back. I'm definitely ready to get the hell out of here. I've got a ways to go on laundry and packing tonight and tomorrow though.

Well. Just a few more hours. Start wrapping things up here and never look back. I s'ppose the next entry will be from the good 'ole Shenandoah Valley. Here's a sneak preview.

latest update....ever

Well. I decided to wait for a number of things to happen before I returned here to make any sort of update on my plans. I know I have previously made comments about tentative plans coming this summer and to not only everyones surprise, this has been quite for myself as well. I was hoping to make moves by the end of July, so that I could easily transition out of my current apartment lease and venture out somewhere. My predicted time line has been grossly shortened, and now I'm slated to leave next week.

My plans to venture into the nursing field are very real now. I tried my best to line up classes at TCC so that I could potentially still work and live out my lease in Virginia Beach, but it turns out the place who's slogan is "From here, go anywhere!" doesn't actually like having questions asked of them and must really, and I mean really hate trying to help someone out. I can't understand how prerequisites and red tape should matter to a non degree seeking student who wants to give you money. If I wanted to pay you to teach me how to sow a sock, and I never showed up to "class" and still paid you, would you really care?

I resorted to quitting my job and signing up for a chemistry and stats at JMU and biology at Blue Ridge Community College, requiring my presence in that area to attend lab sections. I'm leaving Friday the 15th for Blacksburg so I can see my brother finally graduate college (5 year plan looks like it worked well though). Then Sunday I'll go straight to Harrisonburg so I can attend the first class of my undergraduate career, round 2. I'll be in and out of VB while moving my stuff in waves while re-establishing myself as a resident of Harrisonburg.

I'm extremely excited and scared, seeing as I'm leaving a very safe station in life so that I can owe a lot of money in a couple of years. Things will be good though. Harrisonburg will treat me well and I will treat it well. Looking forward to posting some more positive thoughts in the future.

first show!!!

Please come check out us and all the bands! Cover benefits a new venue in the process of being opened! (Click the flier to see the full view if it shows up funky in your browser)

Gates of Kiev

As the clouds moved in and the sky darkened, the only ounce of strength left lay in the walls...no the Gates of Kiev!

http://www.myspace.com/gatesofkievband

We finally got our act together and tracked some music. Here's our myspace and tunes which we are very proud of. Hope everyone can enjoy it. Stay tuned for show updates!

operation pullpin

I really need to stop injuring myself....


Today I'm going in to get the pin from my left collar bone removed. It should be a relatively easy procedure and may not even need sedation. I'll be asking if I can keep the pin too! I'm really excited as I will be able to continue with my life once it gets pulled. It may be a week or two before I head back to the rock gym but knowing I can move on is excellent.

In other good news, my application for re-entry to James Madison University was sent yesterday. I had a pretty stressful day about it. I had begun to worry about being able to complete everything, including classes, I needed before the end of this summer. I made a great discovery when I found out I'll be able to take the TCC classes I looked up and they will transfer as part of my prerequisites. If everything goes smoothly from here on out, look out Harrisonburg!

I know you're hot in August, but so am I!

this is not fiction

I know I haven't followed up on my word, about this whole posting about my trip to Europe. I'm potentially writing up a longer document but I'm not promising anything. I think the best thing I can relate is that the trip was inspiring, in many small ways but also in a very big way. I'd take as motivation to make sure I'm moving on this year. At this rate, I don't see how I'll ever do the things I want, the way I want to do them. So as I've said many times before, change is required.

But for now, the non-fiction does not involve me. I'm usually less involved in taking my daily dose of the news, taking that few minutes everyday to browse cnn.com or turn on NPR. With the acquisition of my rental car (equipped with Sirius radio), NPR has been the only station I've listened to when in my car. Of course, I've done myself the favor of misplacing the car keys and have no way of driving at the moment. 

Driving to work one morning last week, I stumbled upon a program about Acrassicauda, the only metal band known to have come out of Iraq. A documentary, Heavy Metal in Baghdad, was released last year I believe, which followed the band for 3 or 4 years between the start of the band and their exile to Syria. I honestly have to suggest this film to everyone, regardless of whether or not you are open to heavy metal. I especially suggest this for anyone who hasn't watched any documentaries specifically on Iraq and post Sadam regime conditions. 

The film is less about the music than it is about the musicians being Iraqi and living in a country torn by civil war. Democracy is a joke, freedom is nonexistent. And these guys chose to play heavy metal amidst all the turmoil, risking their lives to pursue activities that were soon to be outlawed. Gun shots, mortar rounds, helicopters, body guards, mercenaries, the list goes on and on of common sites in the film. Every one of the band members, during interviews while living in Iraq, admit they have accepted the fact of death, and are ready to die at any moment.

The film basically blew my mind. I wouldn't invest too much into criticizing their music, as you will probably be doing a lot of it. It gets better near the end, but I imagine their resources are limited and won't be the one to judge. Watch this film to hear the story of the Iraqi men involved and the lives they are living. It's certainly a humbling story. 

From what I understand, the band was able to make it to America after having expired visas in Syria, relocating to Turkey by way of donations from people who knew the story and then selling their possessions to make the final leg. 

I wouldn't mind playing a show with these guys. 

digital memory: Paris

some choice photos from my p&s.

fml

Paris stories/information will take a while to unravel. I'll probably run a photo post of digital pics I liked when I get them to my computer. Otherwise, I may just write a small book or something about the whole trip and make all of you pay retail price to read it.

fml:

Sunday night in Fairfax, VA, right after dinner and getting back from the airport, some 16 year old fuck pulled out in front of me while I was crossing an intersection with a green light and caused me to hit him going 50mph in my car. No one was hurt but imagine the joy I had to contain within myself at having gotten in my first accident when I all I wanted to do was get home. The accident was purely the other driver's fault, so hopefully I don't have to deal with a ton of bullshit.

And I still have plenty of medical bills to enjoy....

americans in paris

Well we made it. Quite the over night journey via plane and then of course the train and metro works were circuses. Anyway just thought I'd mention that I'm successfully here. I may be writing here if Matt makes this nap time a routine thing. I'm off to wander around the streets for a few...

dundee, whiskey and waiting

I put myself into a pretty deep rut last night by way of browsing the internet and such social devices as facebook. It's slightly embarrassing but happened none the less. Luckily I still had some whiskey left and as soon as I popped on the tele, the beginning of Crocodile Dundee melted it all way.

I thought about for a good while and realized it's just a matter of time. When people tell you "Patience is a virtue", they really have something of worth there. I've been suffering restless leg syndrome so to speak and am quite impatient about making something happen. Trying my damnedest, it's been next to impossible to instill some sort of this virtue in myself.

The best thing I've figured out to do is to look forward to things. Now, this sounds pretty easy because you figure, I'm a 20-something year old out in the world. I don't have much to do on most days when I get home, and often lack of motivation to change that, so it doesn't always work out in favor of being that young, motivated person. But before I get too contrived in my own lack of "life" so to speak, I have to admit, I'm pretty lucky to have this trip I'm taking next week.

I hope to feel rejuvenated and motivated when I return. I'm also lucky to return after the change of day lights savings and maybe my unperceived and self-fulfilling case of SAD will fade away. Then it's on to getting this menagerie of a "band" back in shape and to fill up my time with that until the end of this summer.

So if there's anyway I can leave this post with some sort of thought or suggestion, the best thing I can come up with is this.

Patience is a virtue.

snow day....at work

I woke up this morning and had totally forgotten about this chance of snow in the area excitement, mostly because I knew I would still be at work. Being in a client based business, it takes a lot more to shutdown operations at an office where it's snowing and people in sunny San Diego still need you to run batch jobs for them.

The bigger concern is the status of my flight. Racine, Wisconsin is calling my name and I'm on the fence one whether I want the flight to work out or not. It's a business trip and I'd essentially be losing 2 days worth of free time having to be at the airport during that time. But it does get me out of the office for a day and half which can be refreshing. I'm beginning to think it doesn't matter since I'll be leaving the country in 4 days. Yea, a lot sooner than I thought too.

This was weekend was quite the whirlwind. Saturday night we endured harsh winds and cold rains to "crawl" from bar to bar for the Ghent Winter Bar Crawl. It was honestly a great time despite the conditions, I spent all the money in my wallet and slept in the stairwell at Nick's apartment building. Somewhere in there I saw random people I know, handed out Monster paraphernalia and managed to begin drinking again by 1 the next day.

I come out on top, almost every time.

today...

...is the kind of day I wish I owned a motorcycle already.

Music - People Under the Stairs

anyways...

Got a little carried away there.

This Harrisonburg weekend was of course like many others. Show up, drunk, wake up, hung over, well in just enough time, drunk, hung over, home. I was happy though because I got to see a ton of people, and even a few that I haven't seen in a very long time. Not having my car, as I road with Nick and friends, was interesting though because I ended up having to venture on a few solo walks between places. It was strange because while mildly enjoying them, it felt weird that although I think Harrisonburg is great and all, I felt awkward and was keen on arriving at my destination as soon as possible. /shrug

I want to give my respect and thanks out to a friend, who is probably becoming a good friend now, for a pretty good talk one of the nights. I feel like I've been letting myself slip into a routine again and have forgotten to do my research on what's next. Being a few years senior than my friend, I was surprised at what seemed to be experience bred insight for the steps following college. As I've been shaped by college my experiences and work thus far, I was glad to get some advice from an unexpected source, that despite his age, may have been the best advice so far. Thank you.

Short music update: We finally got Noah out to practice and he penned some lyrics for a song and gave us the first preview. I think it's safe to say that all of us in the band are excited about what we heard and I personally look forward to writing with this guy. Hopefully show information in the near future!

Workout: 20 min run this morning
Music: None

i'm craving you

You are change. You've never stopped moving, turning, twisting, morphing, swinging, scratching, hoping, singing, pushing, lifting, shining, scaring, crushing, hitting, slowing, stopping. You are everything that can be feared and everything that can be hoped for. Taking a chance with you is like standing at the edge of the cliff jump. I'm scared like hell but know that when I'm falling through the air, it will be a new and empowering feeling. I'll be happy, excited, joyous, still a little bit scared, the adrenaline flowing. I'm still scared because who knows what will happen if I hit the water wrong...

scars, bars and bad news

I'm about 15 days out from traveling to Paris and it could not come any sooner. The anticipation is killing me. Mostly because I forget I'm going sometimes, then I realize I am going and I have nothing ready! Luckily this weekend I'll be able to get work done on squaring away couch spots in the city.

Firstly, bad news. It seems like every corporate company in the world has been having trouble during these "self-inflicted" rough times. I don't know if I'm surprised or if I expected it somewhere down the road, but HP has taken action by reducing base pay. I think I'm happier seeing this happen rather than seeing 20000 jobs getting cut. The latter seems like a worse decision as that way, the number of consumers able to provide money to the economy will be reduced. Regardless, it sucks. But like I said, I'm not the only one. It's just....strange to be in this position, at the will of something totally out of my control.

Otherwise, not much has changed. I finally got to framing my diploma after having the frame since November. It only took about 10 minutes. I hate realizing sometimes I'm just sitting around with my thumb up my ass. Of course, it will probably sit on the floor in my room for a good month before I actually hang it up. In addition to this accomplishment, I've gotten addicted to playing pool, spending two nights this week alone playing with T and Nick and constantly playing a MiniClip internet game while at work. Woops!

My update on the music front is good. Noah will finally be joining us this weekend, adding vocals and hopefully some songs of his own. I think this will provide us with a huge motivation to get out and play some gigs. It also helps we've got a tentative gig lined up in Blacksburg for April. Just gotta keep the hopes up high and everyone will be seeing us soon! I'll keep everyone updated.

Expect a thoughtful post soon, kind of like the first ones I pushed when I started posting here again.

Music - None
Workout - Ran the past 2 days, will be running tonight

21 days till the coal runs out

I had an interesting week this strangely warm week. As noticed by this weeks previous post, things definitely started out slow. Monotony is a killer, and I'm trying my best not to die. Warm weather was welcomed with open arms, even if I did have to sit inside all day. Invigorating in its own sense, just having the windows open at the apartment was refreshing.

Since Monday, things have turned around though. The prospect of a three day weekend ahead is exciting, even though I've got nothing planned and I have a strange feeling that I don't really want to plan anything. Big Hallmark holiday tomorrow, might be fun to see a horror film. I'll leave the weekend up to my whims.

Speaking of whims, I was talked into buying a round trip plane ticket to Paris in 21 days! Egad!!! I got the email back from the IRS that my tax return had been accepted so I figure it's almost like a free ticket. I'll be going with Matt Abraham (DJ Fey) to partake in any debauchery that may come our way. We'll also be couch surfing (www.couchsurfing.com) while there to meet people and save a few bones. This will be a pushing the envelope type experience, so I'm sure I'll have some interesting things to post about after the trip.

I'm pretty happy about my decision to do this. I'll be the first to admit that it may not be the best decision financially but I hope in the weeks leading up to the trip I'll learn some sort of fiscal responsibility as I balance saving up and paying for hospital bills. I definitely needed something to make this spring more exciting. I've been getting really antsy and think this will be a good opportunity to forget about everything for a week.

Heavy research for future plans to ensue before the trip though. These nursing schools in the UK are slow to respond to email. Do I really have to call them at some god awful hour in the middle of the night? I don't even know how to dial to the UK!!

Workout: None (running this afternoon)
Music: Weezer - Say It Ain't So

stormy monday blues

I tell you what. Monday morning at 9am is a tough time. Just staggering into work, lighting up my desk and computer again for the day. Sometimes it's surreal, sitting there watching my computer boot up, wondering if my inbox will have a casual day opportunity waiting for me. I'm already thinking about being at home after work, wondering if there will be anything fun or entertaining to do this weekend. I'm trying to balance the idea of getting over this inane cough/cold with going out to a pool hall or the usual Wednesday dollar beer night for live music.

I found a new blog this morning.

http://jenandtheartofmotorcyclemaintenance.blogspot.com/

I'm going to be following this for a while. I'm not sure how often updates arrive since it's a traveling blog but I'm looking forward to the interest it will generate in me for motorcycles and road trips. Already have one potential weekend warrior trip to Miami. Why not? I still want to make the motorcycle road trip to Missouri and Kansas a reality with Troll. I've got my fingers crossed for this summer.


I wanted to start a new thing at the end of my posts. I wanted to add any sort of workouts I've done the day of a post (if I've worked out) and what song was on at the end (if I was listening to music). This is sort of for my personal use as far the workout thing goes. Music I thought might just be interesting. So....

Workout: None
Music: Darkest Hour - With a Thousand Words to Say But One

doom is in the air...

Last night was a blast. Nick and I went to the Peppermint Beach Club to catch the last two acts of what sounded like an entirely heavy/black metal bill. Rose Funeral and Abigail Williams were on deck when we arrived to the last band just finishing up what sounded like shred heaven.

Rose Funeral wasn't quite my cup of tea, but I must commend the vocalist on his screaming abilities. He had a great high pitch scream and a pretty badass stage presence. I feel bad that it was a lame crowd, and I myself was forced to be part of it (can't be injuring my shoulder getting pushed around, what would I tell my parents? "I was head banging to a band I didn't know and..Woops! The metal rod was sticking out the back of my shoulder!"). But hey, felt good to be at a show.

Abigail Williams headlined and closed out the show. I didn't see the bands before but I'm guessing they blew the rest of the bill out of the water. I was a little disappointed that they didn't have a keyboardist on stage as they played record tracks over the PA of any key/string parts. I believe they had one who left. Not sure what the whole story is though. Beyond that, those guys are fucking awesome. Great stage presence and badass music. Once again, so happy to be at a show and especially so because I knew the music.

Ken Sorceron of Abigail Williams (phone pic)

This really gets me excited to get back to writing music again. It is honestly frustrating sometimes and there are times where I wonder why I do it/try. It would be a waste of time not to do something with what I have though. Also, First Night Last Night is one step closer to completing it's line up. We've got a good friend coming in to check out our stuff and possibly take the vocal spot. Got my fingers crossed on this working. Can't wait to give everyone a show again.

wanted: change

Last night ended up being a movie night. Well. This isn't entirely true. I also took part in drinking a handful of Rolling Rock beers (in the can!!) for a dollar a piece. I would say that this Baja something or rather could be put into the "dive bar" category, mostly due to the bathroom cleanliness, or lack thereof. It's also definitely a local watering hole, the stank of Virginia Beach grom and lifers hung in the air. I'll have to remember my quarters next time so I can get trumped on the pool table.

On the way home, JC was kind enough to forward me a text message including a coupon code with which I redeemed a free rental of Wanted starring super star Angelina Jolie. I returned home to find a new home studio set up on my roommates computer. After I had investigated for a short time, I directed myself towards my room with the PS2 and enjoyed a good ginger ale while watching the film.

I was thoroughly entertained with this "all star" type cast despite my recent preoccupation with instant Netflix watches of TV series and independent films. The action scenes were ridiculous and unrealistic (what can you expect when these assassins have hearts racing at 400bpm?), but awesome. Of course, the "nude" shot of Ms. Jolie's back is everything I could have dreamed it to be. Her tattoos are quite fascinating and from what I could see, very well done.

So the point of this post is not to provide a spoiler or a synopsis (I don't think it is anyway), but to consider the coincidence I felt at the end of the film. The protagonist works a basically dead end job (for someone who desires more), getting chewed out by his boss everyday and wasting away in a cubicle while his best friend partakes in sexual intercourse with his girlfriend while at "dentist appointments". Essentially, this guy is a pawn to others and does nothing about it. Along comes hot, kick your ass babe Angelina who brings him into another world of danger and "super powers", at which point said guy is in control.

False. Pawn. Again. A twist in the story I won't reveal in all it's entirety.*

Not until the final, let's say 3 minutes of the movie, does our protagonist gain control of himself and his life. In a monologue just before the credits, he let's us know that yes indeed, he's in control, yadda yadda about I went from being a pussy, never standing up for myself to shooting people from a mile away and saying "fuck you" to my boss. Final quote: "What the fuck have you done lately?"

Well. What have I done? I am sort of that guy sitting in his cubicle, waiting for 5pm everyday just so I can leave. The best part? At the end of the day, it just starts all over again. When I heard that last line, I was just glad that I had woken up before work yesterday and worked out, albeit for a short 18 minute bike ride. Still better than nothing. I also felt better that even though it was 1:30am and I was still up drinking soda, watching a movie, that I was going to wake up at 7am and work out again. Which I did.

It's been 8 months since I decided I was going to exercise regularly and get back into some semblance of my later high school and early college self. That's a long time to not have gotten anywhere, and frankly, there's no excuse. So here I go. See you on the bike at 7am.


*If this does somehow ruin the movie for you, contact me via email or comment, I'll provide my address so you can send me the receipt from renting the movie after which you were disappointed that I ruined it, and I will reimburse you for the entire renting cost.

what's next?

Well.

In an unexpectedly brief yet stressful moment last night, I learned that I will be packing my bags up this summer. Unfortunately, I will not be flying into Narita International Airport, just outside of Tokyo, Japan, at the beginning of August. My plans to begin a steady path towards ex patriotism have been foiled. At least for the time being.

A fellow gamer and internet acquaintance sent me a message, giving me the heads up that application IDs that had been rewarded with an interview, the next step, a chance at making the journey to Japan, were posted on the US Embassy's JET Program website. I immediately visited the site following, putting all other matters aside. As the PDF loaded, I found the small piece of paper that had on it, written in ink, the key that would unlock the next phase of the journey. It did not unlock the next phase, rather it dashed my chances and crushed my hope. Using the find feature in my web browser, I slowly entered my application ID, seeing that matches were found, hoping that everyone one up until the last would also be found. I made it to the second to last character...and nothing. No matches said Safari. I of course double checked, but to no avail.

I am disappointed. In one hand, I hold the sense of relief that I now know my fate concerning the JET Program. In the other, disappointment, but motivation and hope to find out what I will do in the face of this loss. I was at a lack of words when it happened, and thankfully, I was alone. Rather than perform the "open your acceptance letter in front of your parents or friends" script, I was more than obliged to read this in solitude and send a text to my brother, a friend or two. My parents don't know yet, but it won't be meaningful to them. They see my job, my money as happiness, when I'd rather go without either to be happier. Don't worry, I still love, respect and appreciate them.

But here I am, in my right hand, holding the thoughts of what is next. The aforementioned acquaintance provided me with links to other similar programs and blogs to people who post questions and give advice about moving to and living in Japan. There is a lot of good information and plenty of other options involving teaching English in Japan. Do I start applying to more programs?

I actually don't know yet. Something pulled me towards the JET Program, and knowing a previous participant provided me with lots of confidence and motivation to see myself alone in Japan. The idea has grown more daunting just in the past few hours today that I devoted to researching these other programs. I still want to travel and live abroad. But now, how? With what program?

I have previously mentioned my interest in the nursing field. I do somehow feel that by going back to school though, I am short changing myself on just going and doing, being in the unknown. Another 2 years? 2.5 years before I could be free?

For now I wait. More research is well deserved at this point. All I'm truly worried about is time. Will I be able to facilitate a move, a change before the end of July, when my lease expires and I hope to move on from my job and this place?

failure; or to succeed

So brief background and how I chose this subject.

While catching up on some friends blogs during my "lunch break", I was shocked to find out that the one blog I was most excited about reading for the next 2 months had essentially already ended. I was reading from the oldest post I had not yet read to the most recent (which I assume most people do) and found out that a 2 month long solo cycling journey across the southern United States had lasted only 3 days. Mechanical issues, equipment "misplacement" and bodily injury contributed to the demise of this journey, but certainly not of my friend who endured these hardships.

So failure. I'm scared of it. I will admit this.

It turns out that my "new" definition of failure is a lot less horrible than previously interpreted. By "new" I mean I just thought this up while finishing off the last of my Seagram's Ginger Ale (getchya some, it's good). Failure is the perception of being less than you are for coming up short on a goal. I don't think this sounds too bad and I already feel a little bit better about the failures I've experienced in my life. The point I'm really trying to get at though is that, like most motivational speakers and what not will say, failure brings about success.

My broken collar bone. Failure? I think so. I failed at having the best New Years Eve I've ever had and getting appropriately intoxicated. Plus I have to deal with a weak arm and shoulder for a few months coming. Where's the success? I have an interest in the field of nursing now. I'd be willing to break, let's say 2 more bones, if it allowed me to have a direction in my life. Now, let's hope, knock on wood, pray to whatever it is we do, that this doesn't actually happen.

So the premature termination of my friend's more than 2000 mile escapade is some sort of failure. He admits so, I think we all can, despite the circumstances. But I would like to commend my friend on having the courage to make the decision to turn around. It takes some serious will to ride miles of road already traversed, walk up to the ticket desk at the airport and purchase a ticket home. I think he found success in being able to make this decision. Finding out that you know when it's time to turn around and take one for the team will be invaluable to my friend. Beyond saving time and money, this ability can save lives.

Short and sweet. I'm glad my buddy is back home safely with his wife (newly weds). I think I was trying to point towards the "why so serious?" mentality with this one.

see the beauty, enjoy life.

2009: i'm not good for me

Well. What can I say?

Happy New Years! Happy Holidays! Why yes, I do have medical insurance!!

By some stroke of dumb fate, I found myself on the first of the new year in a hospital...again. 

January 1, 2008, 3pm: I arrive at Virginia Beach General with a broken fibula and ankle, right leg. 

January 1, 2009, 3am: I arrive at VCU Medical Center with a broken clavical, left shoulder. 

I won't go into the gory details of what happened at the ER, but I will say that in my broken, yet drunken state, I must have been the most responsive and polite patient being treated. The inebriation that I had bestowed upon myself allowed me to greet the ambulance crew who picked me up from my hotel on E. Canal Street, downtown Richmond, VA, with a hearty "Happy New Years! Looks like ya'll are doing better than me, sorry for having you come out at such an odd hour." 

The handful of nurses and/or doctors who I talked to or asked questions or asked for a sip of water must've been confused by my demeanor. I suppose they had already gotten past the idea that they were working on a holiday (of course, someone does have to do it). I, on the other hand, felt extremely terrible that I had gone out, tripped over my drunken self and inflicted this injury that required medical attention. I profusely apologized to any of the medical staff that provided me care as well as did my best to pay attention at all times and ask important questions so they knew I indeed was giving them my undivided attention. 

6 weeks in a sling. Does not require surgery for functionality but can be performed for aesthetic purposes (I'm not sure if the current bump my collar bone is creating will lower itself by much). Percocet for the pain, which is surprisingly not that bad (much less worse than either of my ankle/leg fractures). 

My thanks go out to the staff of the VCU Medical Center who treated my sorry ass for having to take me in on New Years, to the front desk employees at the Crowne Plaza hotel (which I only slept at for 2 hours) for calling the hospital, and Gerald, the shuttle driver who picked me up from the hospital at 6 in the morning, being kind despite all my apologies for making him pick me up.

One last thank you goes to the man working the graveyard cleaning shift in the hospital lobby. Without realizing it, I had gone to the hospital without shoes on (nor a shirt) and while waiting for Gerald to pick me up, I paced the lobby in my socks. The man cleaning approached me asking "Hey man, it's a cold one out there, what size shoes do you wear?" I didn't realize till just then that I didn't have my shoes. I reassured him I had a ride and would not need shoes, but unless I'm mistaken, he had it in his mind that he might find me a pair of shoes so I could walk somewhere without freezing my feet. Others saw me in my under-clothed state, but this person was the only to inquire or be worried towards me about it. Thank you. 

As I sit here typing, broken, relying on chemical drugs, I thank this man for setting the precedence of what I hope I can make my 2009 for others. 

Happy New Years, go help someone you don't know.